Holding grudges is so childish.

I am a reader. I read for hours on a daily basis. It is often through the process of devouring a book that I come across interesting morsels of information. These little segments that I have found in my book often will resonate with me in some manner. I am someone that prides myself on my "common sense/practical" approach to life and when you come across something amidst the written word that fits within this approach of mine then I tend take note of it every time. So recently while reading a book that I was thoroughly enjoying I noticed a comment that the author made pertaining to grudges. The author stated "... children hold grudges and adults cannot afford to".

It made me think about my habit of holding grudges. It is a bad habit that I find myself falling victim to quite often. It made me realize that even in my 40's I am being childish. That was a blow to my "mature" ego!

In a previous blog back in February 2012 entitled "Arguments & a 4-letter word" I wrote about how I tend to hold grudges;

     "Another reason I truly do not like to argue is that I tend to hold grudges. Something else I am not proud of. I have a hard time letting go of the ill will or resentment I end up feeling from the argument."  

During this blog entry I was talking about my strong 'dislike' for arguing and how bad at it I am and even how it left me feeling. I also admitted to some faults that I need to diligently apply myself to if I want improvement.  In this case it is my usual and unfortunate habit of holding a grudge that warrants a change.

I will admit that in an argument I do not like to be wrong. I especially don't like it when some one points it out to me and tells me I am wrong in any way. If I am given the time and opportunity to do so I will admit my mistake and move on. In those instances I have been able to sidestep the grudge action and prevent it from coming into play. When I am not allowed the option of admitting my own 'faux pas' then the resentment blooms in force and the grudge makes itself comfortably at home. A majority of the time those opportunities are ones that I have to make myself and it is rare that someone else will make it for me.

So even though the authors comment was only part of a sentence in a monologue for a character in the story it made sense to me. It appealed to my 'common sense' nature. This part of my nature is always on the look out for practical and sensible every day wisdom that I can put to use in my process of improving who I am.


I have said before that holding a grudge is my typical response at the end of an argument. At times I can be a champion grudge holder; I have gone for days and longer holding on to the unnecessary resentment. It is moronic, idiotic, immature and childish. I am in my 4th decade and I should be more mature & grown up than that! I was always told in my younger years that I was "wise for my age" and "more mature than expected". With ego boosting comments like that you would think I would be able to live up to them. Comments like those tend to be somewhat self-fulfilling, usually.

The authors words made a great deal of sense to me. Sometimes I am pleasantly shocked by the tidbits of wisdom and knowledge I come across in my day to day life, especially when and where you least expect it.

So my advice for those of you who are like me and have a problem with grudges, Let it go! Be a better person. Admit your wrongs. Learn from your mistakes. Most of the time it was a silly argument or your position was a childish one. Only argue that which you can prove is factual and can be supported by the information out there.