Creations by Robert - a short bio

I have always enjoyed crafting and thankfully my mother encourage it. She recognized early on that I have a creative streak in me as she is much the same. If you give me little bits & pieces of most anything I will make something cute and fun. I like to create my own original pieces or make my version of something I have seen; often improving on what someone else has done or finding a quicker, simpler way of doing it. That is how I learned. My mother would show me something and then I would try to copy it. As I did that more and more I found ways of doing it that worked best for me and creating it how I wanted to. I have been doing this since I learned my basic fine motor skills.

One of the things I really like doing is taking something that has been made by another and figuring out how they did it. If I can do that then I will make my own. In the process I will make several versions of it that I like. I said before that I will improve upon the original, but that is my way of saying that I have made it better for me.

In my creativity I can be quite spontaneous. Sometimes I just get ideas and I have to play around with it to see if what is in my head works. If not then I have to figure out if it can be worked a different way to satisfy my need or do I just discard it as something I cannot do. As good as I feel I am at many things I do realized I cannot do it all. Sometimes that is hard to accept.

Over the years I have done many crafts. I had the option of trying out multiple kinds of crafts and to be creative in school, after school programs, volunteer programs where I worked with kids in daycare and youth centres, summer camps and at home. I always put myself forward as the one willing to do the crafts and it worked out well. I would make friends that way because I would offer to do what they didn't want to do and because I could make neat and pretty things. Overall my life provided me with many opportunities to express myself in that manner.

In more recent years I experimented and flirted with the idea of making things I could sell. I have always attended craft sales when I was able and knew that I could probably do something that would be worth selling. A few of the early trials didn't go too far as I lost interest and often didn't have the time. With this attempt I am making the time and putting forth more effort.

Back in the Summer of 2012 I started up again with bead craft. I made a few things for some lady friends and received strong encouragement to make more. I started with bracelets and worked my way into necklaces, earrings and then pendants. To improve my technique and to learn more I took some classes at a local bead shop and that sparked even more interest. It showed me how much more I could accomplish. One of my favorite things to do is to work with wire. Wire wrapping offers so many options and it allows for a large amount of creativity. I really like it.

Along the way I realized that I could sell my creations and make enough at least to pay for the continuation of my craft. A fun hobby that would pay for itself. I came up with a simple name for my little crafting business (Creations by Robert) and decided if I was going to show what I was making to a larger crowd I would need a larger platform and that is how the creation of my Facebook page came about. Facebook offers a lot of 'free' options and for someone starting a little hobby business, anything 'free' is a good option.

I routinely post pictures of what I have made and shared the posts with my friends who have in turn shared it with their friends. I even have a couple regular customers that promote me everywhere they go, especially when they wear what I created for them. They wear their creations a lot.

A cheap business card making site was suggested to me as well. I played around with it a bit and came up with a simple yet elegant business card design that I can and do pass out to interested people. The same site has even given me the option of creating other merchandise that matches my cards and can be useful in the future to further promote myself. It is a great site. I recommend checking it out if that is what you are looking for as well.

So with my Facebook page, my business cards to show off & promote myself and my creations I figure I am off to a decent start.

As of June 2013 I have not attend/taken part in any craft sales as I have not felt comfortable or ready. I have limited myself to sales through word of mouth and my page. That changes in July.

Here where I live we have our Gay Pride celebrations during the first week of July. This year I signed up for and am preparing myself to take part in the Pride Festival Market as a vendor selling my creations. I have purchased a tent to protect me from the sun and/or rain and used the business card site to create a banner that I can put up to show the people who I am.  Am totally nervous and I worry that I will not be ready. I am creating more and more stuff to sell, much of it "Gay Pride" based. In the next couple weeks I will be doing mock set ups of my tent/table/display to see how it will work out. I will take an inventory of my creations to see if I have enough and then I will pray to the Universe and Powers that Be for the success I need. I want so much more but am aware that I can handle only so much at a time.

My tent and banner in the back yard.

It will be exciting and stressfull all at the same time. I know I can handle it, I just need to stay upbeat & positive and remind myself a few hundred times that I can do it!

Wish me "Good Fortune".

LINKS

Creations by Robert - my facebook page

Vistaprint - business cards

Another day to celebrate!

This May 16th my partner and I celebrated our 3rd year together. We didn't do anything special like going out for dinner, a movie or romantic walk along the water, etc. We decided to stay home and relax and just enjoy each other's company, share a sappy sentimental card, a few kisses (actually a lot of kisses) and mucho cuddles on the couch watching TV. Our furry babies decided to join us on the couch.

Our journey together actually started back in the April previous. It was April 26, 2010 to be precise.

I was out partying with my party pals and having an absolutely wonderful time. I was with my friends, having drinks, party favours and celebrating the great life I had at the time. There was nothing about that night the was negative in any way. After spending most of the evening dancing up a storm on the dance floor and flirting with several hotties I had my eye on, we decided to end the night at an after hours place and allow our evening to come to a close on a wonderfully upbeat yet mellow vibe with great music and a stylish atmosphere.

At the after hours club I ran into an acquaintance that I typically only hung out with when at the bars. We all have a few people in our lives who fill that place in our circle of people we know. He had with him his recent ex-boyfriend. After a tumultuous year and half together they ended things and figured that a friendship would be the better option for them and they had picked that night cruise the scene together.

When I was introduced to my "friend's" ex-boyfriend I was in a mental state of being where all was good and wonderful in the world and I was open to meeting new people. I am typically shy around new people especially if I find then attractive. This guy was very attractive to me but due to how I was feeling right then and there I played it bold and promptly told him that he looked good in those jeans and that he had a great ass!

the night it started

Well, he wasn't sure what to make of me. Over the course of the night I spent a great deal of time sitting with him and talking about everything and I mean everything. I was a complete open book to him that night. I answered every question he asked and many that he didn't ask. I probably even answered questions he didn't want to ask or consider. I was the open about myself. At the end of the night I was not sure whether I had played my cards right. Although he told me a fair amount about himself he still held back. I think he was trying to digest all that I had laid out for him.

The upside is that he did take my number and gave me his in return. I didn't hear from him for almost a week. You probably wonder why I didn't call him?! I figured that after all I had said to him that night, and I do recall pretty much all of it, it was in his hands. It was his choice to make the next step. If he liked me he would call. I was patient.

(L-R) Me, Dan and the one who introduced us.

So a week goes by and April has become May. Dan gives me a call and invites me out for a drink. He wants to meet at one of the local lounges for a drink to talk and get to know one another. Yes he learned a great deal about me out at the after hours rave but he wanted to see if I was the same person in a different atmosphere without all the alcohol, etc in my system.

Our conversation started out a little slow as we were both feeling shy. He tells me that he thought I was really funny that night we met. He understood that I was in total party mode and that is not how I am usually but he got a really good vibe from me that told him I was worth knowing. That and encouragement from his ex got the ball rolling enough for him to call.

What was originally only supposed to be a couple drinks and a couple hours of good conversation turned into a date that lasted well over 6hrs and didn't end till 4am with some wonderful kisses and promises of more.

The only sad part of this story is that a day and half later I left to go to Florida and Vegas for my two week vacation and we would not be able to see one another until I returned. Throughout my trip we texted every day and kept in touch. I even told him that I would go to the casino, which I preferred not to do, and I would try to win some money to buy him a ticket to come join me in Vegas. No luck there.

On May 16th I returned to the island via the ferry and he was there to pick me up. He had missed me. He realized that he really really liked me and wanted to start something.

Three years later we are still together.

The first year was all honeymoon as is typical for new relationships. Part way into the second year we moved in together. It was a huge adjustment for him as he had never lived with anyone that wasn't related to him. By the third year were doing well and working to keep it going that way. At the onset of year four life started throwing difficulties our way.

There is the theory that at the odd numbered milestones in a relationship (first year, third, fifth, seventh, etc.) various challenges will arise to try and shake you apart. I think that is what is happening to us. Thankfully this has not affected the health of couple hood. We have become stronger together. We will weather this through. Without really coming out and saying it we have made a stronger commitment to one another to fight together and make it out alive and in one healthy whole.

We are looking forward to the next three year or so. The future looks promising! It's so bright we gotta wear shades!

our first Pride together 2010

10yr Anniversary of my Nonna's passing.

I wrote on my Facebook page today the following message:

  Today I sit in remembrancee of some one I lost 10yrs ago this day. If she had lived she would've been on her way to turning 103yrs old. A milestone that I see more and more these days at my job as a nurse working with the elderly. It would've been nice to visit her and wish her a happy day and tell her that I love her a great deal.
Due to the illness that lead to her death I said goodbye some time before it actually happened and when she finally did pass it wasn't the crushing blow it might have been but it still hurt because you can never truly prepare for the loss of a loved one.
Even though she was a petite woman of only 4ft.11 she was a powerhouse of a person that was loved and respected by all. I have many memories that make me laugh and cry, and I find that I cherish the memories of her more and more as the years pass.
Wherever your spirit is now Nonna I hope you are smiling down on us. As long as there is one of us around you will never be forgotten.
We love you.
We miss you.

As I was writing it I started to tear up with wonderful feelings regarding my Nonna (Italian for grandmother).

She died at the age of 92, less than a month before her 93rd birthday. At the time of her death she was 5 years into her dementia which had been triggered, we believe, by a stroke. Dementia and Alzheimer's are quite similar. Typically Alzheimer's has a slow progression and the beginning of it can be hard to determine. Dementia differs in the fact that it usually progresses quickly and the onset is easier to pin point.

Once she was back home after the stroke she appeared to be fine but little things started to happen that made the family start to worry. These little things multiplied and the family more concerned. Due to living in Victoria at the time I was not around for most of this so I can only go by the stories I have been told and from the times when I was there.

One of my saddest memories is sitting and talking to her and trying to tell her how I was doing and all the new things going on in my life. It was hard because she would ask me who I was every 5-10 minutes. If I referred to my self as 'Robert' then she would look at me with a quizzical expression and I just knew that she didn't know me. If I said my name was 'Robbie' then it was okay because she remembered.

With Dementia the patient starts to regress in their memories and they forget the present and the past becomes more real for them. As the Dementia progresses the farther back they go. At her worse she thought her own daughter was her mother. The hardest part is that as they forget who you are their emotions tell them that you are an important person to them and that makes it worse for the patient. They know you are a loved one that means the world to them but they have no idea who you are to them because the memory is not there.

Once it was obvious that my Nonna couldn't remember me I start my process of saying goodbye. Because I didn't live in the same city the geographical distance allowed me to put some emotional distance into my goodbye to make it easier. It was still hard though. I would go over to visit my aunt and she would give me updates on how it was going. My aunt would go to the nursing home 2-3 times a day to visit my Nonna because she wouldn't eat unless my aunt was there and in the end my aunt had to fed her. The whole process was especially hard on my aunt as she took the brunt of it all dealing with the decline of her own mother.

The end came one day with the advent of a seizure. I don't know the details but I was told that it was relatively quick. With the experience that I have in my 20yrs or so in health care with patients, epilepsy and seizures, I know that it can range from a matter of seconds to a few minutes. I does tend to be quick and the suffering short lived. Thankfully.

It is my hope that my Nonna went to her final peace with the knowledge that she was loved by her family.

I give thanks to her for the many things she taught and shared with me. My love of fresh, well made food comes from her, especially my love of Pasta! My love of my family and our heritage comes from her. Her strength is what helped hold the family together in some of the toughest times and it was her love that showed us how precious life was for all.

She was a remarkable woman that was quick to put you in your place if you ever did something wrong but she was also just as quick to show her love at the same time. She lived through much in her years and was always willing to share some of her wisdom that was gained along the way.

Ten years have passed and her loss still makes me cry but the memories are some of my most cherished.

Thank you Nonna.
I love you and I miss you!

"I know, I know" - I am ranting and raving mad about it...

I was reading a Facebook status today and it brought to mind something I hear a lot of people saying all the time. I figured I would write a little rant about it!

Two people are having a conversation, one person talks as the other listens. The listener will often respond with "Yes", "No", "Okay", "Cool", "Nice", "OMG!", "Really!?" and so forth depending on the conversation topic(s).
The one response I hear too much of is "I know" or "I know, I know". It annoys me!

When someone is sharing their thoughts, emotions and experiences they do expect you to acknowledge them and provide empathy or sympathy, not a comment that claims you 'know' what they went through. Unless you have experienced the exact same thing, felt the exact same emotions and had the same thoughts; unless you have "been there, done that" in pretty much the same manner they did then you DO NOT KNOW!

Personally I find it condescending when someone responds with the "I know" phrase. I feel that a better response is "I understand". It shows that you are opening up your mind to listen, to try and put yourself in their shoes. It is true that you will not always be successful doing this but it shows you are trying.

Most use the "I know" answer because it is the common or automatic thing to say; it has become a regular part of our vernacular.

The problem I see is that when a phrase or comment becomes automatic then we have stopped thinking and started reacting thoughtlessly. A lack of thought in our responses to our friends in conversation shows we are not truly listening to what is being said as we are too focused on something else in our heads.

A good example happened a little while ago when I was up island with my boyfriend. My boyfriend's father was telling us all about the situation regarding his mother, my BF's grandmother. She is terminally ill and they were trying to organize and work out support care and to see if she could get placement in a care facility. My boyfriend Dan's father has taken charge of the whole thing and has been there since day one making all the necessary decisions. As he is telling us all about it, Dan repeatedly says "I know". He says it with that tone that gives the subtle message "You don't need to tell me as I know exactly what you're talking about". HELL NO YOU DON'T!

I found it quite disrespectful to his father when he said that each time. Dan does not live in the same community as his father or grandmother so he is not there that often. His family has also been doing their best to shelter him from a lot of the emotional stuff because Dan cannot handle it. All that his father was doing was bringing him up to date on things and seeking a little understanding and sympathy for the hardships they are going through; they do not need condescending, disrespectful comments from someone who does not know or will ever truly understand. What I found even more lacking in respect was that Dan would often interrupt his father with an "I know" comment. SHUT UP!

I could see his father was getting upset by this due to the pinched look on his face whenever Dan spoke up in that manner. I stepped in and suggested to Dan that he change his "I know" to "I understand" as it sounds more considerate and supportive. I also suggested that he stop interrupting all the time and listen. Allow the person to finish what they are saying before you respond. Give yourself some time to think before you speak as well.  Dan just glared at me. His father smirked.

This is just one example that shows how people tend to not think before they speak. I am not saying I am innocent of this myself. Now that I am more aware of it I do take the time to formulate different responses that sound nicer and show that I am doing my best to actually listen to what is being said.

I think it is important to be more aware of yourself and how your act. Don't be just like everyone else. Be yourself, be honest, be respectful, be caring, and most of all - Be aware.

Christmas 2012 was one to cherish!

Well here we are and January is already over. Wow, it is hard to believe that just over a month ago we had Christmas, then New Years and now Ground hog's day is just around the corner. Time is moving quickly with Family day ,our brand new statutory holiday, arriving soon with Valentine's day just a step beyond it. I think the February will go by quickly too.

Our 2012 tree

But while we are contemplating the days passing us by quickly I thought I would take a moment or three and reminisce about my Christmas 2012.
I originally thought that it would be like many of my past Christmases in recent years; a nice relaxed enjoyable time that left me feeling good. Little did I know or even realize that this would be one of the best in recent history. This Christmas ended up being one that evoked memories of my childhood when I had some of the best times during the winter holidays that I can ever recall.

It started with all the usually plans and activities. We dug out of storage all of our decorations, assembled the tree and made the usual preparations for the family visits that happen every year. As always I look forward to the time when my uncle brings my grandmother to visit. Due to the geographic distance, work schedules and the expense of travel I do not see my grandmother as often as I would wish. Most every Christmas my uncle travels to Victoria to see his daughter & grandchild, his two nephews and brings his mother along so she can visit with her grandchildren and great grandchild.

For those of you who know the geography of British Columbia you will appreciate the effort my uncle makes to help each Christmas become one that involves family. My uncle Pat lives in Kamloops BC which is pretty much in the central part of southern BC. He travels East from Kamloops to Nakusp BC to gather up my grandmother, returns to Kamloops to pick up my aunt and the three of them travel all the way West to Victoria to see the grand kids. My uncle usually does this twice a year (Summer and Winter) for the benefit of all of us. When he does that it is like a birthday present and christmas present for me. I can honestly say the I appreciate my uncle for who he is and what he does. Family togetherness is as important to him as it is to me.

So let me get back to my story here. Things were shaping up to be the usual type of Christmas. My family was coming to town and my partner Dan's family was coming to town as well. The usual. What made 2012 reminiscent of my childhood years were two moments which evoked such wonderful feelings that I still smile when I think of them over a month later. One moment involved my family and another involved Dan's family.

The moment that involved my family was at the end of a particular evening visit. My uncle and I had made plans for him, Betty (aunt) and my grandmother to come over to our place for a visit, hang out, watch a movie and just enjoy our time together. We had a general plan for the evening and pretty much just went with the flow of things. We decided almost last minute to go out for dinner then come back to the house to hang out. Dinner was tasty and the movie we rented to watch at home was a good one. At home I spent the time watching the movie sitting beside my grandmother arm in arm with her enjoying every moment I had. As much as I love all of my family there is just something special about a grandmother that makes you want to cherish them even more. At the end of the evening when they were leaving it was a comment that my grandmother said that made my night something worth remembering for a long time. My grandmother thanked me for the invite and for making her time so enjoyable.  It was her comment "I felt very comfortable and welcomed here at your place tonight." That simple comment was so heartfelt that it made my heart burst with pride and love for my grandmother. I felt pride because they liked the home I had with my partner and by being myself I had shown my family that they are always welcome at my place. I felt the love because my grandmother's comment showed her love and appreciation for me and my partner and the home we had created together that was open to those we cared about. I am an emotional sap at times so moments like this mean the world to me.  It is moments of this nature that help to evoke all the best of the holidays feelings we all look forward to each year.

The second moment involved a whole day spent with Dan's family when they came to visit us. One of our plans for the holidays was to spend a day with Dan's sister Monica & her husband Julian, his niece Bella, his brother Jim with Ashley (Jim's girlfriend). They all arrived at our place on the 27th for a day of traditional family time -  presents and a big dinner. Monica, Julian and Bella spent the previous night at our place so we could all sleep in and have a leisurely morning together. Once Jim and Ashley arrived we spent some time opening our presents with Bella playing the Christmas Elf handing out the gifts. Afterwards as everyone relaxed and played with their new toys I prepared our dinner. Ashley had provided a beautiful Turkey. The fixings to go with it were provided by Dan and I. Being someone who loves to cook I took it upon myself to prep our big dinner. I did accept some minor help here and there but when it comes to cooking I don't like a lot of people in the kitchen with me. The turkey turned out perfectly and the dinner spread was greatly appreciated by all of us. It was one of the best Christmas dinners I believe I have ever made. The overall time spent with Dan's family opening gifts, having dinner together and just enjoying our time with one another made it a Christmas that evoked many of my cherished childhood memories.

By being ourselves, having a good time and just making the most of what we have turned Christmas 2012 into one that I will cherish the memory of for some time. I look forward to future Christmases with family with the hope of creating and evoking wonderful memories.

Smelly Cat

I am sitting here at my computer and like usual my cat walks in, meows a few times for attention and then walks over to her litter box to do her 'business'. The litter box is behind me so I cannot see her as she does what she does but I can hear it all happening and then.... the smell!

I rush over to the shelf to get the airfreshener, give a quick spritz to make it all smell better while I am holding my nose. Of course I have to also bury her deposit as she doesn't seem to know how to do it well enough. I don't think she was with her momma long enough to have learned this particular nicety. After the spritz I end up with a nice flowery smell with an underlying scent of 'smelly cat'.

I love my cat and she is adorable but unfortunately regardless of what I feed her she is quiet nasty when she uses the litter box. I guess there is always the down side to such things.

This reminds me of that song Phoebe Buffay sang on friends. She only sang a couple verses of the song on the show but I was able to find the whole song. Supposedly you can buy the soundtrack to the Friends series called "Friends Again" and the song "Smelly Cat" is on there.

Here are a couple links featuring Smelly Cat. Enjoy.

Friends clip featuring Smelly Cat song
Smelly Cat music Video

Song Lyrics

Three, four...

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
What are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat
It's not your fault

They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favorite pet
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
It's not your fault

You may not be a bed of roses
You're not friend to those with noses
I'll miss you before we're done
Or the world will smell as one

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
What are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat
It's not your fault

(Phoebe) Oh are we done?

One, two, what's that smell?

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
What are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat
You're getting fat

I think that I'm gonna be sick
It's your ears, and nose and pick
Part of it, tempt me

One, two, what's that smell?

All the dogs in the neighborhood
Are saying this for your own good
What, you're fat, so you can't run
No fun, I bet, No fun

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
Porno makes you eat like that
I saw you in the shopping mall

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
It's not your fault,
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
It's not your fault
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
It's not your fault

We know what was in your food
They say it might affect your mood

You smell like something dead (3x)

One, two, what's that smell?

(Phoebe)Yeah, that's not the song

My Grandmother's China

Since I was a child I recall seeing my grandmother's china cabinet and all the pretty pieces inside.

Of course I was never allowed to touch anything as I could break it.

Children often do not realize their own strength or understand how to be delicate with precious things. That is why we say to them all the time "Don't touch". That is often why parents with young kids do not take their children to go shopping in a china shop.

The china is a Royal Albert pattern called "Blossom Time". It is a beautiful pattern with gorgeous trees full of pink flowers in Spring. It reminds me of ornamental apple blossom trees like the ones we have here in Victoria. I think because I really like the colors and the fact that it was my grandmother's china makes it something I love a great deal.

the shakers

dessert bowls

I remember her displaying it in her cabinet (which was much bigger than mine) and back then it seemed like she had so much of it. Now that I have it in my smaller cabinet and have done an inventory of all the pieces I now realize when she displayed it, she had it all spread out. I have to stack the plates and such to fit them all into my smaller display cabinet.


As you can see in the picture of the salt and pepper shakers what the colors and pattern looks like. The little bowls shows you that it is almost like an orchard of trees you can walk through if you follow the road/path. All of the pieces have this wonderful pattern on it.

After doing the inventory I discovered that I have 100 pieces and that is only part of the whole set that was created. With all the plates I have I could do appetizer, dinner & dessert for 12 people. I have a teapot and enough teacups to do tea for 9. There are several odd pieces that you could be use for various other functions as well. Now that I have the china I think I will start looking around for pieces to fill in the blanks.

One of the things I do not have enough of is soup bowls; I have one. The bowl are usually harder to find as they were typically used most often and would break from usage. It is unfortunately a discontinued pattern so I may not be successful in finding the pieces I want but that is something I can live with. Sometimes the hunt is all part of the fun of looking.

Just so you all know, my grandmother is still alive and doing well. She decided earlier this year that her house was too much for her. Many years ago when my grandfather died the huge house they once owned was too big as my grandmother was having difficulty going up/down the steep flight of stairs. She felt it was the better option to buy a smaller home that would better fit her needs. She ended up purchasing a prefabricated 2 bdrm/2bath home that was all on one level. It was perfect. Not to big to keep clean, no stairs, close to town and she had a guest room/bath for when company stayed over. She enjoyed that house.

My cabinet

Over the years as time went on she started having more and more difficulty in maintaining this smaller 2bdrm home. She suffers from osteoporosis and as her bones deteriorate she cannot get around too well. Earlier this year she decided it was time to downsize her home and belongings. She moved to a one bedroom suite in a seniors housing building. She is still getting her stuff organized. In the process she decided that it was time to pass on the china. My aunt said she didn't want it. I did.

As you can see in the picture, all the china fits my little cabinet quite nicely. The cabinet is glass on three sides and even has a light at the top that just needs to be connected.

In time the cabinet might be less packed if my cousin decides she wants some. Grandma wants me to share if with my cousin and her daughter. So we will see if she wants some.

All I need in addition to this is a really nice set of Silverware.