I attended a work sponsored workshop today about Depression and suicide. Quite informative. It was mainly around how it affects the patients we have in the Long Term Care facilities but it also brought up some personal  memories that are unpleasant.

A little over a decade ago my brother attempted suicide. I consider myself fortunate that it was only an attempt and therefore was unsuccessful and is still around today. It was not a good time in his life. He was at a point where he felt he had run out of options. I guess he felt the only option left was to end it. Depression can make you feel like that.

According to the story I got from him afterwards he had become involved with the wrong people. The longer he was involved with this particular group the more intertwined with them he became. Over time he started to discover that his options were disappearing. Eventually he arrived at the point where he felt he had none left and hit bottom.

As the saying goes "He hit rock bottom and kept on digging." Unfortunately there was no where to dig to. He felt that his only option was to end it hence the suicide attempt.  He ended up in the local psych ward for a week afterwards.

After he slit his wrist he told me that something inside him spoke and said to go find his family, that he would be safe with them, that we could help him. At the time I was the only family he was really close with and we both lived in different cities at the time. Sure he had family in the same neighbourhood and only a few miles away but he felt that due to our close relationship I was the only one he could go to and get the help his inner voice was saying he needed. I am glad he listened to that voice.

It was a scary process for him to come see me. He had to travel down several different highways, ride a ferry and walk a fair distance (he ran out of gas along the way and left his car behind). During this whole time he was bleeding. I am amazed that no one noticed anything out of the ordinary. I know that many of us in today's society tend to ignore others because we don't want to become involved but it still amazes me that no one noticed. Even when the police became involved no one could recall seeing my brother looking white as a ghost and bleeding. Is a sad statement about society.

Because the last part of his travels to come to me involved walking down the highway, that is how the police became involved. An officer who was obviously trained to notice things that were out of the ordinary ended up noticing my brother walking down the road looking like crap. Once the officer realized what was going on he promptly took my brother to the hospital and from that point he was admitted to the psych ward. He had been there for a couple days before I was contacted.

It was quite the shock to me that he had taken such action. I knew that he was having some difficulties but you never figure that things would get to that point. The lows of depression are rarely talked about and with men this is done even less. I am just thankful that he is still around today to be my brother.

Once he called me I was able to help him get back on his feet. He became my dependent for a few months during his healing time. As part of his process we rewrote his resume and I introduced him to some new people and together we got him employment and the beginnings of a new life. Ever since he has been doing better than ever. In the years since he has held onto his employment successfully, become engaged and his future is continuing to look good. A happy result to a sad event.

Suicide is never easy to deal with. Those having troubles and contemplating ending it feel that it is the only way out. Those of us left behind end up hurt and wondering what went wrong. I don't believe that suicide is the answer to anything except maybe a trivia question.

I ask that anyone who feels such thoughts that you go get help right away. There are other options and the help is available. If you know that someone you care about is contemplating suicide then out of love get them help. Keeping it a secret does not help them or anyone. Doing your friend 'a favour' and keeping it quiet is the wrong action to take. I would rather my friend hate me and call me names than not have them there to do that! You will feel better knowing that you have helped save a life that was not meant to end so soon. It is better to be proactive and prevent it than to be reactive and try to fix it all later on. After the fact is always too late. Speak up, Reach out. It is 100% Preventable!