Today my heart hurts...

I found out this morning some sad news from a couple of my friends. One friend found out that a cherished member of his family passed away in the wee hours of the morning. The really unfortunate part is that he is on the West Coast and she was/is on the East Coast. Because of this situation he will most likely not be able to go to the funeral. He is understandably upset about this as well. He is fortunate that he is surrounded by friends and family who understand and support him; we encourage him to remember all the good times and to always cherish the wonderful memories.

Another friend called me this AM to tell me that he and his partner split up today. It is a sad situation for both of them. My friend is in the military and his boyfriend found it hard to handle the extended periods of time when he was gone and the possibility that he wouldn't return due to the war like situations he would be going to. On the other side of the coin I think that the boyfriend wasn't ready to settle down. He talked about wanting to travel the world after he finishes college and moving to the mainland as he is tired of living here. My friend is pretty settled here in Victoria and doesn't want to move as it is one of the major naval bases in Canada. It sounds like a relationship that was never going to work unless some compromises happened and unfortunately neither of them were willing or able to make the necessary concessions.

And for the third one that breaks my heart, these tend to always come in threes, my boyfriend's Nana is dying and he is desperate to go see her before she passes. She has what seems like days/weeks to live and it appears as if his aunts and father are telling him that he cannot go because she doesn't want him to see her in the state she is in. She is dying from pancreatic cancer. Dan doesn't care. He wants the opportunity to see her one last time to say his goodbyes, share his love and give her one last hug 'n' kiss. It is just hard for him as the other family members, and supposedly his Nana, do not want to give him that last chance. All morning he has bounced back and forth between anger and sorrow as he dwells on it. It has been hard for me as he throws this all in my face. I know that it isn't because of me but it is still hard as I do not like to see him hurting and I don't like the negativity sent my way. I do my best to keep him calmer and let him know I understand as I have lost my grandparents as well. I give him my love and support.

I had a talk with one of his aunts on the phone and listened to what she had to say. I understand where they are coming from even though I am not in agreement with it. During the phone call I did my best to advocate for Dan to see his Nana again. I just hope that it works out.

My heart hurts when those I care about are hurting. My pain is my own but it helps me to understand theirs.