I adore crystals and prisms and how they refract light. How they turn sunlight through the window into rainbows on the walls of the room.

I have one hanging in my kitchen window and today the rainbows on the walls put a huge smile on my face. Now that winter is pretty much over I am looking forward to my cheerier moods and happier days. I know that I go on and on about how I love the sunshine. I will continue to go on about it! It is amazing sometimes just how much it truly affects me. Part of it is that I do suffer from Seasonal Affect Disorder (S.A.D.) and part of it is that I have always loved bright colors and rainbows! How can you not love rainbows; one of natures great wonders.

As a gay man rainbows do have an addition significance but that is not what I am talking about today.

I had a great day at work today. Even though I was orientating a new LPN and the work load was a full one, it was a great day. The bike ride home was nice. The weather was sunny and warm and when I got home the sun was shining through the window. In the window I have a crystal that was sparkling madly in the sun and throwing bright rainbow colors all over the place. It just made the smile on my face all the bigger.

Today has been a great day! I really look forward to more of the same in the days to come. Spring is definitely on it way and the dreariness of winter is on its way out! I hope your day was a great one for you too!


If you were interested in learning more about S.A.D. then you should check out the links I have added below.

Seasonal Affect Disorder - Canadian Mental Health
Seasonal Affect Disorder - Wikipedia

I attended a work sponsored workshop today about Depression and suicide. Quite informative. It was mainly around how it affects the patients we have in the Long Term Care facilities but it also brought up some personal  memories that are unpleasant.

A little over a decade ago my brother attempted suicide. I consider myself fortunate that it was only an attempt and therefore was unsuccessful and is still around today. It was not a good time in his life. He was at a point where he felt he had run out of options. I guess he felt the only option left was to end it. Depression can make you feel like that.

According to the story I got from him afterwards he had become involved with the wrong people. The longer he was involved with this particular group the more intertwined with them he became. Over time he started to discover that his options were disappearing. Eventually he arrived at the point where he felt he had none left and hit bottom.

As the saying goes "He hit rock bottom and kept on digging." Unfortunately there was no where to dig to. He felt that his only option was to end it hence the suicide attempt.  He ended up in the local psych ward for a week afterwards.

After he slit his wrist he told me that something inside him spoke and said to go find his family, that he would be safe with them, that we could help him. At the time I was the only family he was really close with and we both lived in different cities at the time. Sure he had family in the same neighbourhood and only a few miles away but he felt that due to our close relationship I was the only one he could go to and get the help his inner voice was saying he needed. I am glad he listened to that voice.

It was a scary process for him to come see me. He had to travel down several different highways, ride a ferry and walk a fair distance (he ran out of gas along the way and left his car behind). During this whole time he was bleeding. I am amazed that no one noticed anything out of the ordinary. I know that many of us in today's society tend to ignore others because we don't want to become involved but it still amazes me that no one noticed. Even when the police became involved no one could recall seeing my brother looking white as a ghost and bleeding. Is a sad statement about society.

Because the last part of his travels to come to me involved walking down the highway, that is how the police became involved. An officer who was obviously trained to notice things that were out of the ordinary ended up noticing my brother walking down the road looking like crap. Once the officer realized what was going on he promptly took my brother to the hospital and from that point he was admitted to the psych ward. He had been there for a couple days before I was contacted.

It was quite the shock to me that he had taken such action. I knew that he was having some difficulties but you never figure that things would get to that point. The lows of depression are rarely talked about and with men this is done even less. I am just thankful that he is still around today to be my brother.

Once he called me I was able to help him get back on his feet. He became my dependent for a few months during his healing time. As part of his process we rewrote his resume and I introduced him to some new people and together we got him employment and the beginnings of a new life. Ever since he has been doing better than ever. In the years since he has held onto his employment successfully, become engaged and his future is continuing to look good. A happy result to a sad event.

Suicide is never easy to deal with. Those having troubles and contemplating ending it feel that it is the only way out. Those of us left behind end up hurt and wondering what went wrong. I don't believe that suicide is the answer to anything except maybe a trivia question.

I ask that anyone who feels such thoughts that you go get help right away. There are other options and the help is available. If you know that someone you care about is contemplating suicide then out of love get them help. Keeping it a secret does not help them or anyone. Doing your friend 'a favour' and keeping it quiet is the wrong action to take. I would rather my friend hate me and call me names than not have them there to do that! You will feel better knowing that you have helped save a life that was not meant to end so soon. It is better to be proactive and prevent it than to be reactive and try to fix it all later on. After the fact is always too late. Speak up, Reach out. It is 100% Preventable!

Monday Blues

Today I am not really in the mood to post anything of worth. It is a Monday and I figure I am feeling a touch of the Monday Blues. I will get back to you all tomorrow.

The power of Nature's winds

A little while ago we had one heck of a windstorm. Being the southern tip of a major island we are surrounded on three sides by ocean. It tends to leave us open to lots of wind. There is rarely a day that goes by that we don't have a breeze. After each windstorm that we get there are the usual branches blown about on the streets and in people yards. There is quite often a bit of clean up to do the next day. Is par for the course when living here.

As per usual I like to go for a walk in my neighbourhood and I often go to Summit Park. It is a park that is at the top of a hill that many people live on. Is typical in Victoria. We have a lot of hills covered in residences and somewhere on or near the hill is a park for the neighbourhood. Summit Park is the one near me.

This park contains a little playground for the kids with swings, a slide and a small climbing thingy all surrounded by sand. It is a nice little space. Even the adults like to sit on the swings once in awhile and watch their little ones have fun in the sand and area.

Unfortunately with our recent windstorm a tree that was near the play ground became victim to the fierceness of Nature. In the first two pictures you can see the tree and how it fell across the slide. One of the neighbours noticed it and called the city that day. It took them a couple days to assess the damage and figure out what they were going to do. Until then they just cordoned it off and asked that no one go near it.

After the clean up you can see in the next pictures the remaining stump and the cleared area where the slide once was. I figure they left the stump to fill the hole.

It is hoped that in the Spring they will replace the slide but that might just depend on local funds and whether the neighbourhood is willing to foot the bill. Sometimes the city asks it citizens to pay for things like that.

We shall see what happens in the neighbourhood during our next windstorm. Shouldn't be too long for the next one to happen. After all we are prone to them; that and a lot of rain!

Rebuilding his Keystone mini bike.

Rebuilt frame with new motor

My boyfriend has had this little mini bike since he was a teen. About 15 years he has tinkered with it, rode it and also used it as a memento to the past good times. When I first met him it was sitting on his patio deck getting rusty as something had broken on it and he didn't have the time to fix it up. Since we moved in together he has taken the time to dismantle it and rebuild it from scratch.

Sitting on the frame in the basement

Sanding and repainting the frame to change it from a rusty hunter green to sparkling navy blue took about a month. Along the way he also reshaped the frame to accept a slightly larger motor as the older one was pretty much worthless and the new one had a bit more power and speed to it. He likes power and speed!

The only issue I have had with the rebuilding of the bike is the repainting process. He was smart enough to take the pieces outside and spray paint them in a well vented area but he would often bring the pieces inside about 10 minutes later. Spray paint needs at least an hour to properly cure and to let all the fumes dissipate. Because he was bringing it in so quickly after the paint job I would often get headaches from the fumes. My senses are a little sensitive like that. He wouldn't notice a thing and therefore thought it was fine while I am hurting from the migraines!

All done

It is turning into a pretty good looking mini bike. In the pictures it is hard to tell the color of it that well but as I said earlier it is a sparkly navy blue. For the mini bike enthusiasts you will appreciate this little gem regardless of the color. As you can see in the final picture the bike is done. The build is over. All that is left if for the engine to be tuned, oiled and gassed. The last engine he had on the bit was a little 3.5 horse powered one. The new engine is a 6.5 horse power. He is looking forward to seeing how much more umph this one has. The previous engine was Loud! So loud that you could hear it a couple blocks away. It had such a high pitched rev that the sound carried for a long distance. Even when I was inside the house with the doors and windows closed the sounds penetrated. This new one should have a slightly lower pitch but we wont know until he starts it.

If it is nice weather this upcoming week he will probably give it it's first spin around the block. Right now he isn't feeling the greatest (a cold) so next week is the goal.

Looking good outside

You can see the color better in this picture because it is outside in more natural light.

Here is a vid or him riding the Mini.

Getting creative with food...

Mini Lamb Burgers with Broccoli slaw

Is one of my favorite things to do. I like to try new foods, make something I've never made before or take an old favorite or classic and experiment with it. Some of the things I try are totally new to me and some are only slightly different expressions of what I have had or made before. Just like the mini burgers & slaw in the picture. A twist on a classic.

Like anyone out there I like to eat. Food is a passion for me. If I could I would probably be a food critic but then I would probably be a much larger and heavier man! I would most likely indulge in ways that I do not normally because my stomach isn't a bottomless pit. Although as a kid it seemed I had a bottomless stomach and two hollow legs. I was quite the 'oinker' back then.

When I was a kid my mother made large meals. She learned to cook in cafeteria style kitchens where you always made large batches, so when she cooked at home she made enough to feed a family of 8 even though we were only a family of three. Hence it can be deduced that my brother and I ate rather well. Second helpings were encouraged and there were lots of leftovers!

I was also taught early in life how to cook. My mother and the other women in my family all agreed that it would be a good idea if my brother and I learned to be modern men; perfectly able to fend for ourselves in any domestic situation. Therefore I learned from the age of 6 to: darn socks, wash/dry dishes, laundry, clean the whole house, make beds, cook, prepare for school and take care of others. As the 'man' of the house I learned early on how to take care of my younger sibling and my mama and more. The only thing not on that list was personal finances. I am still learning that lesson to this day.

One of my usual duties was to make dinner. By the time I was in my teens I was doing most of the cooking. Like my mother I made large meals and there were always leftovers. I love leftovers. Most food tastes better the next day anyway!

Thirty years later I am still cooking and enjoying it. I find that I am at my most comfortable when in the kitchen. Most any kitchen; if not mine then a friends.

I watch a lot of cooking shows, own a couple dozen recipe books and subscribe to sites that offer food advice and tips. My internet brower has a couple popular sites in the bookmarks so I can access things quickly. I learn a little something new all the time.

Food is so much fun for me. I like to cook for others and it pleases me immensely when others enjoy what I have made for them. My partner loves it when I cook and my ex stayed with me for 3 years out of love for my cooking.

I am not saying my forays into food experiments always work but 9.5 times out of 10 it does! Pretty good odds I would say.

Today is March 1st, which means that a really good friend has a birthday today and it is the start of the annual flower count. Today has been a great day for me. It of course started with a decent sleep, an appointment or two and lots walking around outside in the glorious sunshine. I so adore the sunshine. It totally makes my day worth it. I was also productive as I got all my appointments done, got some exercise and my Vitamin D. So all is good in my world today! Well mostly, the boyfriend is sick with a cold but that is the only downer really.

As I was walking around town getting my stuff done today I took the time to look for some blossoms to see if the season is gonna bless us with some color and I noticed that many of our Ornamental Apple and Cherry blossom trees are turning out major blooms. We will have lots of white and pink trees pretty soon. Then a few weeks later it will almost be like winter again as the petals fall to the ground like snow. Is rather quite pretty for about a month until it is over. Not much in the way of any other flowers besides the snowdrops which are pretty much done and the crocuses that are in mid-bloom right now. But you never know what will pop up if the sun keeps shining and the weather warms up. I will keep my eye open for more.

It is also my friend's birthday today. That would make him a Pisces. Pisces are pretty decent people. Although I find astrology fascinating and believe that there is truth in some of it, I don't put a lot of trust in it. Reading up on the characteristics that are attributed to each sign is but a starting point. I tend to put more worth into finding out about the person through interaction. So through interaction I have found out on my own that my friend is a decent person and worth knowing. It helps that we some common interests and outlooks. After all that is what makes a friend; the common ground you share.